My brother, John, passed away last week. He was my younger brother and left us way too soon.
His obituary covers the family tree, but I needed to say more. I could write a book about having John in my life, but I think the thoughts that follow celebrate what I want folks to know about him.
John was my brother, but he was also my best friend. That probably sounds trite, but I don't think you can grow up with, play, fight, laugh, cry, and remain close to someone the way we did and just call it familial duty. We truly liked being around each other, even if, as we grew older, it was most often via a text message or phone call.
My attachment to John probably started when he was still a baby. I have been told that after being weaned from a bottle and not finding this situation to my liking, John became the, I'm going to say, willing supplier of bottles for me. Baby John may have disputed this characterization.
Growing up, we were always together. I remember playing army in the washes and sagebrush of Rock Springs was one of our favorite games. When we went camping in the Hoeback with our grandparents, it was tradition to get us Native American attire, dress us up in war paint (Grandma's makeup), and set us loose on the surrounding camps. I was Sitting Bull and John was Crazy Horse. The campers would cringe in terror, usually hiding behind their cameras, as we whooped and hollered.
Later, living in Cheyenne, GI Joe's and plastic soldiers doing battle in the sandhills near our house kept us occupied. The rumors of us trying to burn down the garage are unsubstantiated!
When we moved to Rock Springs, we spent time on skateboards and later motorcycles. We always had a great time riding in the desert. One time, John told me there were beavers in Bitter Creek. I scoffed at the idea until he brought home a beaver tail to prove his point! So, yeah, there are beavers in Bitter Creek!
Through high school, we worked the same jobs and the same schedules. I'm not really sure how that started, but it just seemed right. And after work, we hung with the same friends, many of whom joined us in saying goodbye to him. Again, it just seemed natural. Music became very important to both of us, we went to many concerts. We both gravitated to the band, Rush, which remains our favorite to this day.
Speaking of high school, we didn't play sports because we liked money more and so had jobs, but we did lift weights with the football team in the early morning, again attending together. I was the alarm clock, getting us up at 4:30 AM to be there by 5:30. I slept in once and for being late, we had to run stairs. I expected John to be mad, but he shrugged it off. I was grateful.
We hatched a plan that allowed us to skip our senior years of high school (John was one year behind me in school) and attend full time at the community college. This was not due to any scholarly aspirations, but simply because neither of us cared for the drama that was high school. After John followed in my footsteps on this one, they changed the rules to disallow this. Sorry students that followed us!
It was around this time that I started dating Linda and John started dating Beck. The four of us took a bowling class at the college for PE credit. Linda and I left for UW shortly after that, so I remember this as the last time John and I were in daily contact.
But coming home to visit was always great. Games at Grandma's house, watching our children grow up. After the kids got a little older, we went on our first vacation with John and Becky. Las Vegas! I think the main reason was to see a Rush concert. We knew nothing about the place, John was there to teach us. The first time we went to a craps table, he explained a couple of things and I threw my money on the table. A few minutes later, I watched the dealer pull my money off the table while simultaneously giving John a pile of chips. I was in shock. John looked at me sheepishly and said, "Whoops, I forgot to tell you I changed strategies!" The look on his face was priceless, so I couldn't be too mad.
I don't want to make it sound like we never fought, because it was exactly the opposite. We fought like cats and dogs. But we never let it destroy our relationship and made up quickly. After we lost our brother, Mike, we seemed to fight even less. I think we both decided that life was too short to worry about petty stuff, it was better to celebrate the things we loved, our kids, good books, good movies, righteous indignation over how Peter Jackson screwed up the plot to Lord of the Rings. I am so glad we did. I hope we can all take this lesson to heart in memory of both Mike and John.
The day after John passed away, I heard that Judas Priest had a new album out. My first thought was, "Wonder if John has heard any of the tracks?"
I miss you, Bro! :(
